Thursday, October 4, 2012

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Why do people fall in love? Why do people fall out of love? I have been struggling with a horrible breakup for almost a year now, and have yet to cope with the fact that my ex moved on. It is an uncontrollable and uncomfortable feeling. To this day, I am unsure of what exactly went wrong for it to end.

We met in junior college. He and I both were student athletes and had goals for our future. I wanted to get a teaching credential and coach soccer, and he was going to the Air Force. We planned on getting married after his boot camp graduation. We planned on having kids after a year into my teaching career, so that I had time to get on my feet with my career. Things became a little rocky once I left our hometown to pursue school here at CSUN. Apparently me being two hours too far away in college hurt him so much he gave up the strength to make it work. My boyfriend just fell out of love one day and all of my hopes and dreams went down the drain.

A day before our five year anniversary is when he mentioned he found someone else. He claimed it was because she lived in the same city as he. I felt like he ate my heart and threw it right back up in my face. I felt like I was hit by a semi truck. I felt miserable. I am heart broken to this day. I say I am fine when people ask, but I know it still hurts because I feel distracted wondering "what it would be like if we were still together?" Things remind me of him when I see other couples happy together, or hear people talking about things that he and I did together. I miss and think about all the amazing times we shared.

Again, I ask myself "Why do people fall in or out of love?" I am unsure of the exact answer. All I can say is that once you are truly in love, I feel like sharing those feelings are permanent.Once those feelings are expressed, there is not going back. I thought I was in love, and I guess I still am. Unfortunately the person I am in love with permanently fell out of love a long time ago. All I can do is move on and continue to achieve my goals in life for myself. I can celebrate my success as it occurs, however I really wish I could share my accomplishments with soul mate. I hope anyone who reads this really expresses their true feelings to their loved one, and means it. I hope anyone who reads this does not give up on their relationship like my boyfriend did. Every relationship has challenges, but a strong relationship has great communication and does not give up.


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